What is it

Child molestation is no longer a secret or something that can only happen to other people. It crosses all socio-economic levels. Sex offenders come in all shapes and sizes, from any part of society and can be of any sexual preference. The chance is great, that the victim knows the offender. Child Sexual Abuse occurs, when sexual activity such as exposure of genitalia, fondling, intercourse, oral sex, or pornography (exposure to or involvement in) is enacted with a minor; by a person who holds power over the event. The power difference eliminates consent. If your child tells you that something happened---Listen.

Some Important Factors

Sexual abuse can happen to any one, by any one, it is not age or sex specific.

Sexual abuse is the most concealed, most distressful and most controversial form of child abuse and occurs far more often than is generally believed.

The majority of child victims are molested by a family member or someone known to the child.

The child is first approached sexually between the ages of six and nine (although it can happen at any age) and the sexual contact usually takes place repeatedly over a period of time (even years) before discovery.

The child has been taught to respect and obey adults and therefore may have readily submitted to the know authority figures. The child may therefore be unclear about whether or not the act is wrong or unusual.

The inherent reluctance of a child to challenge adult authority and the very real possibility of retaliation may result in the child's ambivalence about reporting the abuse, and possibly later changing their report.

Although studies indicate that most child victims of sexual abuse are female and most offenders are male, it should be noted that boy victims are relatively just as common and may suffer more neglect from lack of effective intervention than female victims. Please note that most boys, don't see their abuse as abuse, they see it as "I got an older woman".

There is a tremendous amount of quilt placed on the child who speaks out about being abused by a parent, or other authority figure. This guilt is due to the desire of most people to keep this offense quiet, to avoid the public attention. The abuser knows this and uses this to place their victim in isolation. The offense is also a crime of theft as it steals the child's ability to trust and respect authority.

It creates confusion in the mind of the child, who begins to equate sexual activity with love and caring. It creates a child who sexualizes all of their subsequent behaviors. It can also create a child who equates power with pain, and the ability to cause pain. If the person who abuses the child has the power to control, then the only way the child will feel safe later on is to have power. But this power is usually seen as the ability to control someone else.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
No. 9 (Updated 11/98)

Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are afraid to tell anyone what has happened, and the legal procedure for validating an episode is difficult. The problem should be identified, the abuse stopped, and the child should receive professional help. The long-term emotional and psychological damage of sexual abuse can be devastating to the child.

Child sexual abuse can take place within the family, by a parent, step-parent, sibling or other relative; or outside the home, for example, by a friend, neighbor, child care person, teacher, or stranger. When sexual abuse has occurred, a child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

No child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual stimulation. Even a two or three year old, who cannot know the sexual activity is "wrong," will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope with the overstimulation.

The child of five or older who knows and cares for the abuser becomes trapped between affection or loyalty for the person, and the sense that the sexual activities are terribly wrong. If the child tries to break away from the sexual relationship, the abuser may threaten the child with violence or loss of love. When sexual abuse occurs within the family, the child may fear the anger, jealousy or shame of other family members, or be afraid the family will break up if the secret is told.

A child who is the victim of prolonged sexual abuse usually develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal or distorted view of sex. The child may become withdrawn and mistrustful of adults, and can become suicidal.

Some children who have been sexually abused have difficulty relating to others except on sexual terms. Some sexually abused children become child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they reach adulthood.

Often there are no obvious physical signs of child sexual abuse. Some signs can only be detected on physical exam by a physician.

Sexually abused children may develop the following:

unusual interest in or avoidance of all things of a sexual nature
sleep problems or nightmares
depression or withdrawal from friends or family
seductiveness
statements that their bodies are dirty or damaged,
or fear that there is something wrong with them in the genital area
refusal to go to school
delinquency/conduct problems
secretiveness
aspects of sexual molestation in drawings, games, fantasies
unusual aggressiveness, or
suicidal behavior

Child sexual abusers can make the child extremely fearful of telling, and only when a special effort has helped the child to feel safe, can the child talk freely. If a child says that he or she has been molested, parents should try to remain calm and reassure the child that what happened was not their fault. Parents should seek a medical examination and psychiatric consultation.

Parents can prevent or lessen the chance of sexual abuse by:

Telling children that "if someone tries to touch your body and do things that make you feel funny, say NO to that person and tell me right away"

Teaching children that respect does not mean blind obedience to adults and to authority, for example, don't tell children to, "Always do everything the teacher or baby-sitter tells you to do"

Encouraging professional prevention programs in the local school system

Sexually abused children and their families need immediate professional evaluation and treatment. Child and adolescent psychiatrists can help abused children regain a sense of self-esteem, cope with feelings of guilt about the abuse, and begin the process of overcoming the trauma. Such treatment can help reduce the risk that the child will develop serious problems as an adult.

For more information see Facts for Families #4 "The Depressed Child," #5 "Child Abuse," #10 "Teen Suicide," and #62 "Talking to Your Kids about Sex."

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) represents over 6,900 child and adolescent psychiatrists who are physicians with at least five years of additional training beyond medical school in general (adult) and child and adolescent psychiatry.

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